Dubai ramblings

Just some things of note whilst in Dubai:

THERE IS NO FREE INTERNET ANYWHERE
I opened all the drawers in my room to see if hotels in Dubai would have Korans instead of Bibles. Neither.
I'm watching what appears to be an Arabic sitcom except without a laugh track. The TV is emitting a high-pitched sound, the sort that only dogs can hear (and me, evidently).
Can't really work out what time zone my body is in right now, or will be in by the time I land in NZ, because my body clock is jacked up as it is and there are too many time zones and I can't decide whether sleeping is good or not.
This hotel has huge, long ass corridors. I've been walking around wishing I had deadly ninja-like athletic skills so I could somersault up and down, sprint across walls, that sort of thing.
But obviously I don't. Found myself tap dancing while waiting for the lift then looking around to see if anyone saw. (No one saw.)
I was somersaulting down the corridor like a badass ninja when a confused elderly gentleman (whom I saw earlier holding up the queue at reception with his myriad of questions) asked me, “excuse me, what number does my room key say?” It said 0009. He was in front of 0009. I said “It says 0009, and this is your room.” He replied, “are you sure? Cos it could be 6000.” Fair point. I checked my card and told him that I was fairly sure that it was 0009 judging by the direction my room number was printed on. Then the younger dude next to him asked “what about mine?” and held out his card. It said 5005. 5005. What ELSE can you make of that, other than something that looks like 2002 except with the 2 flipped over?? But he was serious. I replied that it meant 5005, ie fifth floor, fifth room. He asked where the lift was, so I told him I was going there too. We stopped at the lift, then he asked, “is this the lift?” as the lift doors opened. I think in five years' time, we'll all either be working for him, or be dead by his hand.
Was talking briefly with an Australian girl in the lift and when she got out on her floor she asked me, “so do you stop over in Brisbane?” and while I was fumbling to find the <|> button and going “umm...! umm!” the doors shut in her face.
Luckily I bumped into her later (when I encountered the two confused gentlemen) and the situation was resolved.
I don't really trust women that wear glasses all the time. They give off neurotic SHREW vibes.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

slash, didn't get ANY sleep yayyyy!
Found out that in the morning I left my German Harry Potter book onboard the flight last night and now it is GONE.
Turned up at the airport way too early. Didn't realise somehow that because I've already got my boarding pass for the Dubai-Auckland connection, I didn't need to check in again. I don't know what I'm typing anymore

Oh man in front of me is some sort of hot ass sports team all waiting to check in. HA They're all tall and muscular and GOrGOUES