Self-help

It's been on my mind for a long time to write in this thing again, but as all great notions of mine tend to turn out, the ambitious plan to write regularly went a bit pear-shaped. The tour went on, concerts were played, beers were drunk, new friends were made, little sleep was had - the only way I could have written it all down was to do so as I went along, because there's no way I can backtrack so far back now. It's a little odd, since I started writing this for myself as much as for anyone else, to have such a big gap in the reiteration of events. Ah well.

Anyway, I have been back in Vienna since the beginning of September. A mega super fail slight oversight on my behalf meant I had to enrol in a German language institute quick smart in order to get my A2 level certificate before a)the registration period at school was over and b)I became an overstayer. That side of things is slowly getting sorted out. I have now memorised all the definite and indefinite articles of nouns and changes in adjectives, I am slowly getting the grasp of nominativ and akkusativ whatsits, and I'm still struggling with past and present perfect tense. These days I feel like my brain has deteriorated somewhat - I was never one to apply myself academically and I fear that I have now reached an age where relying on quickness is no longer a foolproof option. My work ethic towards anything that has to be done has always been fairly shite, and now I'm paying the price; I am gradually learning that, with some shit in life, you actually gotta try to get results. (and not just with music.)

Pleasure over pain, fun over work, procrastination over priorities. Somehow I've managed to skirt through life on those principles. Well, NO MORE!

I'm sick of being a lazy arse who is completely capable of pottering around at home all day when I have no obligations. As much as I am a lazy arse, I do like being productive. As much as that sounds like a contradiction, I guess what I mean is, I like the concept of "doing nothing", but I hate wasted time. Doing nothing for pleasure is totally sweet. Watching the hours pass feeling like they should be filled up is not. Knowing that you probably could do something but are choosing to be passive about it, is infuriating.

No more lazing at home all day anymore, I need to put my ugly sports shoes on and go walking around the neighbourhood, get to know the streets. No more gratuitous slices of Gouda cheese, love of my life as it may be. No more watching TV shows or embarking on pointless internet-ing till ridiculous hours of the night so I fall asleep feeling like I'm gonna pass out. More study, more practice, more hobbies - God, I used to write like there was no tomorrow, what happened to that? Sewing/knitting/stenciling projects? Shouldn't I actually enrol in that yoga class? - just more doing shit, in general. Amen.

I've been feeling very lethargic and uninspired these days and it's nobody's fault but miiiiine. At least I know! I'm gonna try harder to be a more constructive human being, as opposed to something that breathes but doesn't really produce anything except farts.

Here's to my fruitful endeavours, and yours <3